The act of overcoming eating disorder behaviors and substance addiction is more of a complicated and complex mission than just effort by the person suffering from it.  In my professional experience, recovery involves the entire family and requires honest and open communication from everyone.  Coming to this level of family connection can be a very difficult endeavor and most of the time, the staff member must surmount heavy defenses built over many, many years within the family structure.

Michele Lob Eating Disorder Clinical Expert

In family healing, the ultimate goal is to subvert any idea of culpability.  It is vital to transition from a state of mind of self-flagellation and vanity to a mode of thinking absent of shame and guilt—one of openness that is concentrated on looking at the past only for growth and self-discovery.  The development of eating disorders and substance abuse comes from multiple different sources rather than just one cause.  It is not productive to spend time ruminating on these components over and over.  The key is to start with a readiness to generate honest and open communication aimed at creating new discovery and behaviors; a readiness to pay attention and handle those issues in a considerably sufficient way that prepares for close listening of the sufferer’s story.

We will now look at what we know so far concerning the dynamics of eating disorder and substance abuse behaviors.  Generally, these behaviors arise as methods of dealing with trauma so that they are separated from their “feeling states”.  However, if we more closely examine them with an open mind and heart, we see that these acts when severe start to become a cry for help, a way of reaching out for guidance by the sufferer.

Many different factors come into play when it comes to the development of an eating disorder or to the abuse of substances.  In today’s day an age, there is a constant media stream of diet medications and fads and obsession to nearly unattainable body images.  Our present-day world has family structures that are dissolving and so today’s kids and teenagers are more susceptible to find their own acceptable definitions of their “self”.  Today, we are in a time where, among those that do not believe they are capable and those that are born to believe that they are, are separated by the trait of perfectionism.  More significantly, there are numerous exemplifying factors to think about, such as socioeconomic standing, depression, stress, and many others down the list.

Nonetheless, let’s consider the underlying notion—the process of healing from substance abuse or eating disorder is undeniably a family affair.

When I work with families, my objective is to comprehend each of the member’s fears concerning the person who is suffering and to empower those family members by opening up trusting, deep, and honest bonds between them.  Achieving this is not easy and does not happen overnight.  I can not just simply wave my magic wand to speed it along.  It is more of a steady and slow progression and moves easier with open minds, hearts, and I’ve found that what helps the most is the readiness to be introspective, supportive, and vulnerable in a productive way to the person suffering.  It is my strong belief that if these factors exist, magic can occur during this healing process.

We must keep in mine that the most important thing to remember in this entire process is that the person who is suffering receives a new outlook on life, along with those family members that help them along in this positive change.  Most of the time, the change occurs from within by the individual themselves.

- The Clinical Director at The Victorian House in Newport Beach, CA, Dr. Michele Lob PsyD MFT also works with children and families in her private practice in Newport Beach.